{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"25209087","dateCreated":"1276622822","smartDate":"Jun 15, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25209087"},"dateDigested":1532128379,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Monday","description":"Jerry: You wrote a ton in this last rush of writing. I can't believe how much happened--high school, college, revenge, counter-revenge. The writing is pretty sloppy in some places, but I suspect that this is because you were trying to write so much at one time. Lots and lots and lots of surprises and twists and turns; I get the sense that you were having fun thinking up plot. The ending moved by quickly, and, in a few places, I got a little confused. But all was clear by the end.
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\nMake sure you make a printed hard copy of this. It will be fun for you to come back to in a few years, or ten, or twenty.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24999579","dateCreated":"1275926318","smartDate":"Jun 7, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24999579"},"dateDigested":1532128379,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Weekend","description":"Jerry:
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\nYou've moving too quickly! These last few chapters have a ton of action; it's starting to seem as if you're summarizing the plot rather than letting us experience it. Take your time. When you have extended scenes, as you've had up to now, you do a great job. Let the characters speak to each other; take time to include details about relationships; take time to fill in the details.
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\nI know you have a ton of ideas here for the action and the plot, and that's great. But take your time! Otherwise, you'll lose me.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24826483","dateCreated":"1275395185","smartDate":"Jun 1, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24826483"},"dateDigested":1532128380,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"credit for second deadline","description":"45\/45 (4500 new words)","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24788717","dateCreated":"1275251713","smartDate":"May 30, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24788717"},"dateDigested":1532128380,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Friday's post","description":"Jerry:
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\nI can't believe how much you've been able to write so quickly. This is an incredibly detailed story; it seems to be pouring out of you. You keep coming up with cool plot ideas, and it's clear that you now know these two boys quite well. It's fun to read because, for me as a reader, these two are starting to come alive off the page.
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\nI'm a little confused about the man with the yellow hat. He's Phill's long-lost brother, right? I'm not quite sure why he's getting in touch now, but perhaps you'll reveal that soon. Are we supposed to assume that the narrator's mom is dead at this point?
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\nKeep writing. These boys have a great relationship and it's fun to read about their adventures.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24614823","dateCreated":"1274831953","smartDate":"May 25, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24614823"},"dateDigested":1532128380,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Tuesday's post","description":"Neat development. The new character compliments your protagonist nicely and will enable you to develop him through the conversations. I'm not sure about the chase, but I sense that you're going somewhere with this.
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\nAgain, you seem very comfortable in this voice, in this type of writing. I'm impressed at how easily it seems to flow for you. Don't stop!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24584203","dateCreated":"1274796908","smartDate":"May 25, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24584203"},"dateDigested":1532128380,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Monday post","description":"Now you have a real story. The characters are compelling, kids I'm interested in learning about. And the set up will give you lots of adventures and a lot of tension. You seem very comfortable in this type of writing; you're grammar and proofreading are 100% better! how interesting.
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\nAs you move forward, give your characters a bit more time to speak. Dialogue will bring them alive. Also, as you create scenes let them run a bit longer. This will help me get to know them a bit. Put in some description, and don't feel as if you have to rush to the main action.
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\nYou're doing great with this. You really seem to have found your stride this quarter. I'm glad.
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\nFirst deadline met = 20\/20","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24423281","dateCreated":"1274379821","smartDate":"May 20, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24423281"},"dateDigested":1532128380,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"opening","description":"Wow! Lots of suspense and mystery in this first chapter. Why was his mom beating him simply for asking to go to a store? who is this strange man? why does his mom owe money? what will happen to her? where will the boy run to?
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\nThis is a great way to open a novella: with lots of questions. I'm hooked and am eager for chapter two.
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\nThink about using shorter paragraphs. In a strange way, they will add to the suspense and drama of your story--and they will make it easier to read.
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\nAgain, great start. Keep writing! I want to know what will happen.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]}],"more":false},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}