{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"25233289","dateCreated":"1276705823","smartDate":"Jun 16, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25233289"},"dateDigested":1532128357,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Tuesday","description":"What a great ending! What a great story! You were able to retain your writing voice and style throughout the entire tale, and as I mentioned before, these two elements are what made the story work best. I was draft in--from the very first--by the narrator's voice and by the way she told her story. It's a painful story, but you make it into much, much more by having her tell it the way she does.
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\nPlease print this out and hold onto it. If you take Craft of Writing when you are a senior, this would be a great piece to revise. If you don't, find time to continue working on it, to revise it and to polish it. It's a great piece of writing, something you should be proud of. It's also a great ending to a terrific year.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"25108517","dateCreated":"1276193699","smartDate":"Jun 10, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25108517"},"dateDigested":1532128357,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Thursday","description":"The scene atop the boabob tree is one of the best parts of this story so far. Rather than letting yourself get caught up in the racing of the plot, you've stopped and held on to this very important moment in her life, a moment that is central to the story. It would have been easy for you to race ahead to the confession scene, but, by holding off, you've given us a chance to think more about her and what she's gone through. Your instincts as a writer--as a story teller--are right on the mark.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"25084253","dateCreated":"1276125644","smartDate":"Jun 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25084253"},"dateDigested":1532128357,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Wednesday","description":"You got a lot in the past two scenes. I like how you contrast the innocence of the friend with the bigotry of her mother. In some ways, it's hopeful to think that racism need not be inherited. Leaving her alone as you did at the end also reinforces how isolating racism can be. It's impossible not to feel for her at the end of what you've written.
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\nYou've shaken her world. I wonder if she will be able to recover. How will her parents react? will they let her good to school again and face the same risks? how will she feel now that her confidence in herself and her school has been undercut?
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\nYou have a lot to work with as a result of this.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"25038847","dateCreated":"1276021711","smartDate":"Jun 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25038847"},"dateDigested":1532128357,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Monday","description":"This new scene works so well because you linger over the moment. It's a powerful moment, complicated, emotional, and very important. You give us time to feel the tension building, and this, too, makes this scene work. I like how you have the two girls relate to each other, reflecting how tough it is for a newcomer to relate to a stranger (and, in some ways, vice versa)--and how this is compounded when there's a cultural (and racial!) difference.
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\nYou're creating great scenes. I'm enjoying each of the moments.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24952015","dateCreated":"1275680442","smartDate":"Jun 4, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24952015"},"dateDigested":1532128357,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Friday's post","description":"You've not told me: have you spent some time in South Africa yourself? So much of this seems incredibly realistic, with tons of specific details that make it very much seem like the narrative of an insider. If you don't have a direct connection to this, you've somehow figured out how to make it sound as if you have.
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\nYou're setting up the conflict nicely. The narrator and her siblings are about to enter an incredibly difficult situation, and you've given me enough background about them to help me understand what it might be like for them.
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\nI eagerly await the next few minutes of their school day.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24838579","dateCreated":"1275410501","smartDate":"Jun 1, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24838579"},"dateDigested":1532128357,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Weekend post","description":"I read somewhere that Afrikaans is an incredibly ugly language, so I can sympathize with your narrator's POV.
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\nIt's time to start thinking about how you want to develop the middle of your novella. What conflict or problem do you want to focus on? You're doing a good job of establishing the situation and background; now (or soon) it's time to shape the action so it will eventually build to some sort of climax. Start giving this some thought.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24826029","dateCreated":"1275394544","smartDate":"Jun 1, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24826029"},"dateDigested":1532128357,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"credit for second deadline","description":"40\/45 (4000\/4500 words)","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24773325","dateCreated":"1275140309","smartDate":"May 29, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24773325"},"dateDigested":1532128358,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Friday's post","description":"You're doing a great job of integrating the factual information into your narrative. Thee details make it seem as if you know that territory well, and this makes the story much more engaging and realistic. The story of setting up the household is told quite well; you have a good ear for touching details.
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\nI'm anticipating conflict in this new country, as I know the transition will be difficult (and the political situation even more so). I'm glad you're giving them time to get settled and to establish routines.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24720245","dateCreated":"1274987855","smartDate":"May 27, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24720245"},"dateDigested":1532128358,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Thursday's post","description":"I like how you're moving forward carefully and thoughtfully. While this new episode might not be crucial for the development of the plot (though it might be, I realize), it DOES help a lot with developing the characters, both the mother and the narrator. It MIGHT be foreshadowing, but it's not heavy handed, making it fun to think about.
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\nYou might think about bringing in more dialogue now and then to break up the long narrative stretches.
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\nI'm very much enjoying reading your story.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24657891","dateCreated":"1274898093","smartDate":"May 26, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24657891"},"dateDigested":1532128358,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Tuesday's work","description":"I like the way you're weaving in the background information. It sounds realistic, not as if you're trying to force it. I would imagine that this situation might be terrifying for this family, going from a place where they felt safe and comfortable to a place where they are treated so poorly.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]}],"more":true},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}