{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"25227507","dateCreated":"1276692456","smartDate":"Jun 16, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25227507"},"dateDigested":1532128360,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Tuesday","description":"Ah, the old double cross! I can tell you're having fun with this ending.
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\nHow come David gets away with being such a jerk to the teachers (and everyone else)?
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\nI get the sense that you had to rush a bit to bring this to a close. I sort of see how Emily could be the one who killed P, but this kind of seems out of the blue...which is fine, given that this is a first draft. When you revise this to make it into a hollywood movie, you might want to reconsider.
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\n[I suspected it was the mean gym teacher.]","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"25108393","dateCreated":"1276193404","smartDate":"Jun 10, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25108393"},"dateDigested":1532128360,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Thursday","description":"I'm a little confused. Why is a kid conducting the murder investigation rather than the police? Seems like it's way over his head. Also, why is he being so flippant about it? It's not like he's trying to track down the person who stole another student's lunch, right? Seems like things should be more serious at this point.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"25103559","dateCreated":"1276183983","smartDate":"Jun 10, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Bendaman94","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Bendaman94","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25103559"},"dateDigested":1532128360,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"mr. hodgkins","description":"This is one intense story, Geoff! That is quite a way to start a story: have a best friend get shot. I think it's effective to especially us high school people. Just imagine if we had a best friend get shot. The combination of informal dialogue and emotional drama works very well, and I like how this story is fast-paced. I like the dialogue for the most part, but I feel the story has too much dialogue, which weakens the story. Have more description! It's good!
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\nGood job Geoff...now I want to see who the murderer really is!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"25104199","body":":D","dateCreated":"1276185073","smartDate":"Jun 10, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"geoffhodgkins","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/geoffhodgkins","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"25061467","dateCreated":"1276086869","smartDate":"Jun 9, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25061467"},"dateDigested":1532128360,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Tuesday","description":"Are you saying that the print was made by a woman's shoe? If so, I'm confused.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"25104173","body":"yes the print is made by a womans shoe","dateCreated":"1276185037","smartDate":"Jun 10, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"geoffhodgkins","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/geoffhodgkins","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"25033995","dateCreated":"1276014921","smartDate":"Jun 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25033995"},"dateDigested":1532128360,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Monday","description":"You got a ton done--great going. You're figuring out how to make your dialogue scenes more complete and involved, and your plot is holding together a lot better now, too. Great going. I have my suspicions about the killer, but I'm not sure yet, so I'll keep them to myself. I like how you made this dodgeball scene seem to wander away from the main plot and then suddenly come right back to it. Great thinking!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24951885","dateCreated":"1275680029","smartDate":"Jun 4, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24951885"},"dateDigested":1532128360,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Friday's post","description":"OK. You've got the parents out of the bind...but you've still not convinced me that he's not the killer. Time to get back to this main mystery! See if you can write more about this over the weekend. That's what's hanging over our heads right now: the question of what happened with the shooting.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24901591","dateCreated":"1275565121","smartDate":"Jun 3, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24901591"},"dateDigested":1532128360,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Wednesday's post","description":"Geoff:
\n
\nI copied and pasted your e-mail into your page. Check in with me today and we can figure out what's happening. I don't think any new material is included here, though. Let me know.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"24926415","body":"i think this is the latest material
\nthere are about 6200 words
\nat the first deadline i had 1600 words","dateCreated":"1275609595","smartDate":"Jun 3, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"geoffhodgkins","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/geoffhodgkins","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"24867519","dateCreated":"1275483881","smartDate":"Jun 2, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24867519"},"dateDigested":1532128361,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Tuesday's post","description":"Some interesting developments here; I'm glad you were able to recover your draft. I'm still not convinced that he didn't kill his friend, but he's certainly seeming more sympathetic now.
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\nAs you continue writing, see if you can try to avoid long, long, long dialogue scenes without other descriptions. After a while, your characters start to seem like talking heads. Take time in between some of the lines to pause and describe things: how a line is said, physical gestures, thoughts, background stuff--anything to break up the long chain of dialogue. The dialogue is good, but too much of a good thing dilutes your writing.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24757115","dateCreated":"1275068181","smartDate":"May 28, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24757115"},"dateDigested":1532128361,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Friday's post","description":"Interesting developments! I have a hard time believing that he did it, but it does look suspicious. I wonder how the parents will explain that they've been snooping in their son's room. But I suppose he'll have a lot of explaining to do, too.
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\nThis story is rolling along nicely; it feels as if you've got some momentum going at this point.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24719231","dateCreated":"1274986072","smartDate":"May 27, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24719231"},"dateDigested":1532128361,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Thursday's post","description":"Interesting! He MIGHT be the guilty party! Nice thinking.
\n
\nNow we have to see how this develops: is he trying to solve the case or is he trying to hide the evidence? I urge you to keep this uncertain for as long as you can. It's a good puzzle.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]}],"more":true},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}