{"content":{"sharePage":{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"25233015","dateCreated":"1276705117","smartDate":"Jun 16, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25233015"},"dateDigested":1532128401,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Tuesday","description":"Wow! What an ending! I'm glad you took the extra time to get this to work out. While I'm not quite sure that a soup spoon would be enough to dig an escape tunnel or that a single bullet would be enough to create a leak large enough to make this huge explosion possible, who knows? It's the future, so anything is possible.
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\nThis turned out to be a pretty cool story. Something happened in the last two weeks that enabled you to up the quality of the writing dramatically. Perhaps the story started coming alive for you at that point. You keep up the drama for the entire second half, you develop an interesting character, and you keep me wondering what will happen until the very end. Success!
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\nMake sure you print out a hard copy of this so you can come back to it in 5\/10\/20 years.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"25176783","dateCreated":"1276518420","smartDate":"Jun 14, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25176783"},"dateDigested":1532128401,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Sunday","description":"Sounds like there's a plan--an impossible plan, perhaps, but at least a plan. I hope you'll have time to get to the attempted execution of this plan. Seems like you have some dramatic moments ahead.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"25108143","dateCreated":"1276192638","smartDate":"Jun 10, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25108143"},"dateDigested":1532128402,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Thursday","description":"The dream sequence worked well; I didn't realize it until it was over. It makes sense, in the context of what's happening. I'm not sure where this is going, but it's been fun trying to figure it out.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[{"id":"25167005","body":"hes going to become crazy while in prison, and develop schizophrenia","dateCreated":"1276464805","smartDate":"Jun 13, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"BryanFehrnstrom","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/BryanFehrnstrom","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"}}],"more":0}]},{"id":"25034267","dateCreated":"1276015285","smartDate":"Jun 8, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/25034267"},"dateDigested":1532128402,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Monday","description":"Like it! Somehow, this writing is much tighter and focused than some of your previous sections. I get the sense that you know where you're going now (and your note to me indicates this). I look forward to your march to the climax.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24867321","dateCreated":"1275483506","smartDate":"Jun 2, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24867321"},"dateDigested":1532128403,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Tuesday's post","description":"Lots of drama in this new section. It's clear to me that you enjoy writing the battle scenes. Make sure that this doesn't become one, un-ending battle. You need other material to keep the story balanced and engaging. Perhaps after this current battle is over, you'll have a chance to develop your characters a bit more.
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\nOn Thursday in class, we'll be working on how to structure the middle portion of your story, and that's worth some thought at this point. Again, you have a lot of action so far, but you don't yet seem to have one, central problem (other than the war in general) as your focus. You'll want to develop that in the next few posts.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24837537","dateCreated":"1275409395","smartDate":"Jun 1, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24837537"},"dateDigested":1532128404,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"weekend post","description":"Wow! You made a lot of progress with this. At times (especially when the paragraphs are long), I get a bit lost in the action, but I think I'm following along OK now.
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\nConsider taking some chapter breaks. The action is quite intense and it's always coming in the same way: minute by minute. You might consider giving us a break and allowing the narrator to give us a larger perspective on the conflict. You did a good job of this at the beginning; now might be a good moment to return to this, even briefly.
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\nThe inspirational scene was your best yet. It's clear that you enjoy writing that kind of drama. More!","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24788795","dateCreated":"1275252117","smartDate":"May 30, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24788795"},"dateDigested":1532128404,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Friday's post","description":"The one-to-one scenes work well; when you start to develop relationships, you help me to understand your characters, and that needs to be your goal at this point. It's what hooks me in to your story, so take your time with this. The details of the war are kind of confusing, but the personal story is starting to get compelling. Keep focusing on that.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24718967","dateCreated":"1274985752","smartDate":"May 27, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24718967"},"dateDigested":1532128404,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"Thursday's post","description":"More good material. I'm getting a sense of the background.
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\nTry to avoid long paragraphs. They are hard to read and you tend to lose your focus in them. (All of us do.) Short paragraphs and dialogue will help you add some energy to the story and build some momentum.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24708117","dateCreated":"1274975812","smartDate":"May 27, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"moleoncrutches","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/moleoncrutches","imageUrl":"https:\/\/ssl.wikicdn.com\/i\/user_none_lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24708117"},"dateDigested":1532128404,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"I read it","description":"It seems like you've created a really cool world here, I'm interested to learn more about it. I think maybe you should try not to oversimplify the conflict though, all wars are complex. You have fifty pages, you don't have to reveal all of the information right away. I like it so far.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]},{"id":"24668599","dateCreated":"1274916015","smartDate":"May 26, 2010","userCreated":{"username":"Misterfischer","url":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/view\/Misterfischer","imageUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikispaces.com\/user\/pic\/1259541818\/Misterfischer-lg.jpg"},"monitored":false,"locked":false,"links":{"self":"https:\/\/bhsnovellas.wikispaces.com\/share\/view\/24668599"},"dateDigested":1532128404,"startDate":null,"sharedType":"discussion","title":"first post","description":"NOW you have something! This is a great start: instant conflict, a ton to write about, a problem that will need to be confronted. You seem comfortable writing in this way; you've already developed a narrative voice that flows nicely.
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\nAs you move forward, you'll want to start writing scenes and dialogue, but I sense that you're just setting up the background, and that's fine.
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\nI look forward to reading more. I love this type of story.","replyPages":[{"page":0,"digests":[],"more":0}]}],"more":false},"comments":[]},"http":{"code":200,"status":"OK"},"redirectUrl":null,"javascript":null,"notices":{"warning":[],"error":[],"info":[],"success":[]}}