Novella+(Nikita)

Message From Abroad by Nikita Alimov

I woke up late into the afternoon, after snoozing though my alarm for 30 min. It was the same beep that I had heard millions of times before, morning after morning. I didn’t want to get up, my ideas meant nothing to anyone anymore. I had once been a successful young man with big expectations and now I was nothing. Nobody even knew my name anymore, even at work. They would just say “hi” or “hello” without saying my name, because they didn’t know it. When they asked a question, they always asked, “How do you spell that again?” because they had no idea what my name was in the first place. As always is said John B A L E R Y, and they nodded. I had tried to change things when it happened, but now days I just accepted life at it is. I was created to be a lousy middle-aged man with no future and I had no intention of changing my fate. Nothing could undo things now. I got out of bed, as usually went to my bathroom and brushed my teeth. While I was brushing I looked at the man in the mirror who was looking back at me. He had blue eyes, with that little glimpse of hope that was always present. Yes, is still hoped that I was right, but all the pressure from society around me made me almost forget what I originally thought was right. The man had brown hair, something that had long ago been present in my family. It was something that I was proud of, something that brought me together with my family even though we had different views on life. Done brushing I went back to my room and sat down on my bed. I imagined what it had been to wake up when I was actually worth something. People thought that my ideas were genial, even though I was young and new to the area. I slowly started to get dressed, the usual pair of jeans that I always wore. It was the jeans I bought on sale in some store a long time ago. I found a T that was reasonably clean and put it on. I didn’t care of how I looked anymore, what was the point. Everything that I lived for had gone to a complete disaster. I went to the kitchen and got myself some coffee. The apartment was so lonely and dark these days. I had a cat one time but I accidentally left the window open and one day, I just couldn’t seem to find him. I decided that I wasn’t worth getting a cat; I couldn’t even take care of myself properly. It was 5 min until I had to go to work and I already felt the restless anger that was within me. It was going to be one of those days again. The days when I just felt like I deserved something better than this. I got out and into my car. It was an old Ford Focus, something I had gotten after it happened. I started the car and got out of the driveway. I drove what appeared to be an eternity, and stopped on a traffic light. I closed my eyes and looked deep into my imagination. I could see things from my past that had never left me. My childhood, my parents, my sister and brothers. They all were traitors. I hated them. I heard the horn of a car behind me yell at me. I opened my eyes and saw a green light. I heard someone yell from behind but didn’t care. I rarely cared about anything or anyone anymore. I stepped on the gas and was once again on the road. I turned on the radio, but everything on it was just bullshit and nothing really appealed to me. It was going to be a long trip. I got to my job 20 min later. I thought that I was on time, but as usual my boss yelled at me for being 2 min late. I couldn’t help it that the traffic was slow, but no, he wouldn’t listen. As usual I went past the secretary. She as usually said “hi” without mentioning my name. I had a job as a salesman for a big company. I had my own little cubicle with my own phone, list of customers and a job computer that was slower than a turtle. It was my job to call potential customers up and making up deals and selling whatever product that company gave me. Surprisingly I was doing very well, and was making a decent amount for the tiny job I had. My salary depended on the amount of product that I had sold, so it varied greatly from time to time. It was enough to cover my credit card and apartment, but I rarely had money left from that. The only thing that I liked about my job was that people rarely knew who I was. I liked being in the shadow. It was my way of life. I was like a bat; I operated best at night. The day went fine. I called some people but no big deals were settled. I was overall pleased with my job for the day. Although, I would never forget the conversation I had with one of my clients. It was a professor from University of Colombia who wanted to buy some paper for his research on some biological theme. The conversation was long and complicated. I told him how good our paper was and how cheep it was compared to the competition. But at one point he asked a question that I hadn’t heard in a while. “Are you really John Balery? Because I remembered teaching a John Balery years ago.” And so the conversation went on. I remembered Professor Burke, he was teaching me biology back in college. I had always thought that he was my favorite teacher of all times. I remembered all those times when we had had conversations that had changed my way of thinking. This Professor was the founder of my ideas, he had formed me. It was because of him that I could come up with the ideas that I had. It was he who helped me find my true self. This man meant a lot for me.

We decided to meet and talk about what had happened the day after, in a café that was just next to my job. I had never been there but I had heard good things about the café. It was one of those cafes that you wanted to go to but never went because it was weird to go there alone, but now as the occasion aroused it was perfect for me to try it out. I sat there, thinking that what it would be like meeting my old professor again. I imagined him kind of like an Einstein figure, with white hair flying all around him and fingers covered in chock from all those hours of teaching that he did. He was the kind of person that you knew would be there for you when you needed him. He had countless times brought my moral up.

I remember one time I was sitting there, worrying for a big Economics test that was coming up. It was a bright sunny day in may and the weather was perfect for any outside activities. I was sitting on the college campus with my books wide open but somehow I couldn’t concentrate enough to study. I knew the test was going to be in three hours, but it was like there was a strange force pulling me away from the books. I wanted to know more, but not about economics. I knew it was my major and whatnot, but at this particular day I wasn’t interested in money or business. All I care about was sitting there, under the tree, and enjoying my day. I had been sitting there for an hour or so when I saw professor Burke walking down the street. He was as usual wearing his white lab robe, drenched in different colors from all the chemicals that he was using. There was marks from blood, a couple of holes from when he had spilt some acid on him and even a burn mark from the countless of times that he had used fire. Yes, he was a biology professor, but just as me, he liked doing different stuff from what his major told him to do. I looked up at his face. There was a glimpse of satisfaction in his eyes, just as I saw it when someone did something impressive in his class. I had many times seen that glimpse pointed at me when I did something that was extraordinary. I could see that he hadn’t yet noticed me, as he was moving slowly, enjoying this perfect day. I looked down at my book and tried read everything about investments, stocks, capitals, shares and so on. But something in my head didn’t want to listen to me. Something was keeping me from reading about all those things. O was too busy trying to read what the book said that I didn’t notice Professor Burke standing right next to me, looking down in the same book that I was trying to study from. He didn’t say a word, he was just pretending like he wasn’t there. How I noticed that he was there was the characteristic stench that was coming from his lab robe. It always smelled of rotten eggs and rotten fish. I never really understood why, but I was speculating that it was all the ingredients that stained the white cloth. I looked up at him, right into his green eyes. He was smiling at me, just as he always did. “Studying?” he said. He knew what the answer was. He had seen how I recklessly flipped from page to page. I sat there silent for a couple of moments, thinking about what my answer should be like. Finally, after thinking everything through I answered “Nah, I have a test in three hours, and I don’t feel like studying. The day is to good for studying. I am gonna fail this test.” He now smiled even more. I knew what he was going to say. He was going to try to get me doing my studying just as any other teacher would have. I didn't know Professor Burke. He didn’t say that. All he said was “this is a very beautiful day indeed. Let’s go throw some Frisbee.” And that’s how I first understood that Professor Burke was the perfect professor. He was going to help me with many hard decisions in life, just as if they were nothing. By playing Frisbee I got relaxed and temporarily forgot about the test. I got an A on the test. I already knew everything that was on it. It was my nervousness, which Professor Burke cured, that was the problem; the impossible force that was keeping me from studying. I was leaving my job again. As usual nobody mentioned my name as I was walking out of the office complex. I knew I deserved more than what I had right now, I was a straight A student since high school. I got into my car, as usually disgusted by how it looked. I sat there, for the first time thinking about something else then what I was going to do later this evening. I was thinking about how good it would be to meet my favorite professor again. I felt like a person again, knowing that he hadn’t forgotten me. I had for the first time in years talked with a person that actually knew my name. I never spoke to my family. Myself was everything that I had, since it happened. It had ruined my life. I hated it. I HATED it

I heard the roar of the engine as I turned my key. I sat the just listening to the sound, as it was very relaxing. It made me feels warm inside; as I knew that this 2000 pound piece of machinery was totally under my control. I could do anything with it. I could do tricks; make it squeak when I pressed my breaks o hard or even run over people! And believe me, I many times seriously considered the third option. I put the car into drive and pressed gently on the pedals. It slowly, in about 15 miles per hour started moving while I was steering out of the parking space. The car was the only thing that actually obeyed me. Everything else I obeyed to. There was something new about the ride home. Somehow it didn’t feel as long as it used to. I had time to look around and take in the nature of the city. All the tall buildings, people on the street. Here and there there was a dog owner that was walking his or her dog. It was like I had awakened from a long period of sleep. Everything seemed so real. What was happening to me? Was I really nervous about meeting the professor again? I hadn’t seen him since that last college day when I went of to become someone that everyone knew. I was now driving on the highway, speeding like I always did, but not too much. I was going in the rhythm of the road, and it was telling me to go 70-80mph. For the first time I noticed how nice and clean the road was. On the sides was deep forest with lots of green leaves as it was almost summer time. Here and there I could see some road-killed animals but otherwise the road was clear as a lake during a hot summer day with no wind. No potholes no anything. I finally took an exit to the right and got onto the street that would lead me straight to my apartment complex. Here the people were poorer than downtown and you could see it by the clothes that they wore. I particularly noticed a little child holding a cardboard sign with the title “help me, I want food”. He was wearing torn jeans; with holes all over them and a T that said “I love life”. “I know how you feel,” I said to myself. I came to a stop at a street crossing. The traffic signal gave me a red light and I looked in the rear view mirror. That’s when I saw her. She was sitting casually behind her wheel. She had long wavy black hair, just like the ocean at night. Her eyes that were looking straight at me were beautifully blue like the sky during a beautiful day and there was something about them that made my whole body shiver, like there were ants walking all across it. All I could see was her. I didn’t pay any attention to the road. It was as if the whole universe was going under. She was everything that I needed to live. I had no idea who she was, where she lived, or even what her name was, but still there was something that suggested that this was the woman that I had been waiting for all my life. I heard horns yelling in the background but I couldn’t stop looking at her. There was nothing that was more important than her. I had to get to talk to her. I looked straight ahead and saw that the light had turned green. I stepped on the gas and started moving across the crossing. I saw that she was following me closely, almost as if she knew about what I was going to do. And then I did it. I stepped hard on the break.


 * ]

It was the last day of college. I had awakened early that day to make sure that I had enough time to prepare. I got out of bed and quickly brushed my teeth before I got dressed for my big day. I had rented a tuxedo; just for this day and it was stylishly hanging of the door in my room. My roommate was still sleeping when I got out in the fresh morning air. Nobody was awake. I was all alone. I was going to speak at the graduation, because I was considered one of the schools best students. It was weird, I hadn’t even tried hard but things seemed to come to me very easily. I heard music in the distance when I walked pass all the small little houses, but nobody was outside. I started rambling the text that I had memorized the night before. It was going to be a one-time opportunity to show the world that I really was. I needed this. I needed the pressure. It was what I wanted. I was now walking past all the trees in the park and I could feel the morning breeze cold against my face. There was something special about this morning. I walked and walked and walked and walked until I came up to something that was very important for me. It was the tree at which I had first gets to know Professor Burke for who he was right now. Strangely I could see something new, something I wasn’t prepared to see. It was the professor.

I couldn’t feel anything. The chock from the crash was still there. All I could see was the white airbag that was deflating in front of me. Everything was blurry, as if I was under the water and tried to open my eyes. I knew I had done this intentionally. I had to get to know the girl, who was now sitting nicely at my back bumper. It was something that I knew I wouldn’t regret, because right now the love of my life that I had never met was right behind me, and I had to help her. I tried to open the door but instantly felt a strong pain in my arm. “It’s broken,” I thought for myself, but it was worth it. I used my right hand, which was fine to open the door, got out on the road and looked around myself. I had traveled 100 feet from the intersection and crashed into the side of the road. It was about 10 min from my house and I knew that it was far away from a hospital. Everything was blurry so I couldn’t really see the street name, but what I could see was the people that were stopping to see what happened. I turned back, and looked at the girl’s car. My left hand was still experiencing a huge amount of pain as I took my steps towards it. Other than the hand I thought I was fine, and could move without any problems. I stopped a couple of feet away from her car, which was pretty badly damaged. The front was completely squished in and I could see that it was the last time that the girl would use that car again. I looked into the drivers seat and was relived to see that she was conscious, but very scared. “Are you OK M'am'?” I asked hoping to hear a positive answer. I hadn’t thought about the aftermath to the crash, I simply had to talk to her. “I think so,” she said. She slowly got out of the car and walked shaky towards me. “Did you call 911?” I asked the people that were just standing there, looking at the accident. “I think I have a broken arm,” I told them. Everything went black.

I could see the professor now very clearly, standing next to the tree as if he had known that I would be here exactly at this time. He was standing there, whistling some old song that I didn’t know of, leaning against the big trunk of the tree. I stopped, hoping that he hadn’t noticed me yet. I wanted to be alone, not talking to him. I thought that maybe this was just a coincidence and that I could easily walk away from it. I turned around, hoping that he hadn’t noticed me yet, and slowly, counting every step, walked away from him. Suddenly, without any notice I heard “Beautiful day isn’t it?” “Yeah, I was taking a walk. I’m going to talk today at the graduation, you know. I feel kind of nervous. I don’t think I can memorize all the words. There is too much pressure on me.” .” I sat down on the grass, looking at the beautiful morning sun. The air was as clean as a 5 star hotel and breathing was a pleasure in itself. I slowly started to realize that I wasn't as nervous anymore. I knew that everything was going to be all right. And as a confirmation of my thoughts, the professor said, "Don't worry you're going to do just fine. Now let me tell you something important. Something I haven't told anyone since the day that I learnt it.



I slowly opened my eyes and immediately got blinded with the bright sunlight. I couldn’t feel anything, which worried me, but otherwise I thought that I was in heaven. I was laying in a white bed, with white blankets and white walls. Next to me was a little machine saying "bip" every time my heart beat. I moved my right arm, but couldn’t move the left one. It was broken. Images of what happened started coming into my head. The girl. Had I done this all just to talk to her? What was happening? I still wanted to see her. I slowly tried to get out of bed, but immediately felt a strong pain in my head. It was like a bomb had exploded in it, I couldn’t stand the pain. A nurse came in, wearing a white robe and a hat with a red cross on it. She smiled at me and said "good morning!" while checking my pulse and heartbeat on the screen. She slowly, making sure I would understand her every word said, "You have a broken arm and a concussion, but you will be up and running in about a week. Now, try to sleep and regain your energy. The more you sleep, the faster you will get better and are able to walk again. I will have the doctor in here as soon as he has a free moment." I tried to talk, but the incredible pain in my head didn't let me and everything that came out was a moan of help. She quickly told me that talking was strictly prohibited for me for the day. I was just supposed to lay there and rest. She left, turning the light of so that the only source of light was the window. I looked though it. I could see her face again. It was so beautiful. If only I could meet her again. I really had to talk to her, hear her voice again. And then it struck me. Had I hurt her in the crash? If I was hurt this bad, she could be to. She could be dead... The thought made my whole body shiver. I could feel cold sweat dripping down my forehead, even thought the room was cold. I could see the temperature of my body going up, just a couple of degrees, but still going up. Everything was monitored on the screen, even my body temperature. I called for a nurse, even though my head hurt while I was doing it. I had to know. It meant life or death to me. I asked the nurse if she knew what happened with the other people in the crash. She told me that she would find out, and come back with the news as soon as she had them. She understood that it was very important for me and quickly took off. I couldn’t believe it. What had made me break that quick. I had never had this feeling before. It was something completely new, something that I had been waiting for all my life. Something beautiful, something warming and sweet. I was still sweating when the nurse came back with the news. I didn't know what to expect. Something told me that they would be bad. I had only been waiting for ten minutes, but I felt like a day had passed since I had asked. Thankfully, everything was all right. I was the only one injured in the crash. The girl, whose name was Sara, had been unharmed and left with only a shock. I thanked the nurse for the information and told her that I wanted to rest, as I was tired. The relive was incredible. The girl was fine! I didn't need to kill myself anymore. It was like waking up from a nightmare, and then realizing that it was just a dream. I could suddenly feel the sleepiness swarming over me like bats. I slowly closed my eyes and vanished in the world of dreams.



I could see the seriousness in the professor’s eyes, as he said those words. A seriousness that I had never seen him be in. He was always the happy professor, full of new ideas and crazy findings, but never had he been serious like he was right now. He took a minute before he continued saying anything. He was staring me directly in the eyes, something that freaked me out. Then he slowly continued, “You see, I didn’t become professor in this sphere of knowledge because I am overly cared about biology. There is something else that got my attention. “ He took out a yellow envelope marked “top secret”, just like in the movies. I felt my curiosity going up as he started opening it. He continued, “ You see, I got this in my mail, forty years ago, just when I was starting college. It was addressed to someone else, but I got it by mistake. Of course I got curious and opened it. The contents were something that I had never imagined.” He slowly took the contents of the envelope out. It appeared to be pictures of some sort, but I couldn’t see what the content of them was. It all seemed to be a blur as far as I could see. I had no idea what was so revolutionary about them. He pointed his finger at one of them and nervously told me, “This picture was taken right at this school. Do you see something unusual about it? Look closely.” I now saw that the pictures that he was showing me were blurred out pictures from various points of the school campus. The main building, the park in which we were now, specific places that existed here and there. But I couldn’t see anything unusual about them. It just looked like normal pictures for me, just a bit blurry from a shaky hand. “It was taken with a special camera; it is called a Phantomerca. It’s a special camera that captures images as waves and radiation from outer space. This one was taken next to a radio.” He took out a picture; it was blurry but not as much as the other pictures. It looked like a picture out of a windshield of a car. “Do you see, the blurriness measures the amount of waves in the picture? Next to a radio its pretty blurry because the amount of signals that are there is huge.” “But how does it work, I have never seen anything like this?” “It is something that is top-secret and only a few members in the CIA know about it. The fact that I have these pictures is pure luck. They are supposed to be in the hands of someone else.” “But why are the pictures of the campus so blurry? Even more than the radio, it’s like there are a hundred radios around that spot… I don’t get it…” “That’s what’s so interesting about them. There is something about this place that special, something that grabbed the CIA’s attention. Something unreal, something unexplainable. Do you understand what I’m talking about???” “Not really, what are you trying to say?” “Someone is sending signals to this place. They are trying to tell us something, but we don’t have the device to read it. Something out of space. Something else is out there. Something smart.” “I don’t understand. What are you trying to say? That’s impossible.” “Yes, there are others out there. Someone is trying to communicate with us, and they are using this college as a place to send their information. They are trying to warn us of something.”




 * I woke up in the next day. The first thing that came into my mind was my meeting with the professor. I had completely forgotten about it, and we were supposed to meet in three hours. I couldn’t miss this opportunity to talk to the professor again. He had meant so much to me, and besides, I wanted to know how his latest work had gone. Obviously I had failed. **
 * My head wasn’t hurting as much anymore, and I asked for a phone. I was going to call the professor and tell him that he should come to the hospital, not the pleasant café. I was first told that I shouldn’t talk yet, as I still had the concussion, but I managed to get the phone after a while of telling how much better I felt today. After a while the nurse gave in, and I got my phone, along with my other belongings. I found the little slip of paper in the inner pocket of my jacket and with shaky hands started to put the number in. I hit the little green phone button, and put the phone up to my ear. **
 * The professor answered with his usual happy tone. I told him that I had gotten into an accident and that I was now in a hospital bed. I told him the name of the hospital, and he told me that he would be there at the assigned time. The conversation went smoothly, and I knew that we had lots to talk about. We hadn’t since my graduation day. It was ten years later. **
 * I had just finished eating my assigned lunch, some vegetables and bread, when the door opened. In came a man that I had been waiting to see for years. He looked almost identical to what he had ten years ago, but you could see that he was aging. He had pale skin, and his once healthy looking face was now looking very old and wrinkly. He had a cane, and he still had that old white robe, filled with different marks. He had his glasses on and his hair was as always not combed at all. It was still a mess. His fingers were still covered with chalk, as he was till teaching that same subject, but that glimpse in his eye had faded. I couldn’t see that same certainty in him anymore. **
 * “So we meet again.” He said. “In more interesting conditions than last time.” **
 * “I have been waiting for this moment for so long, and it comes down to be here and now.” I said. “Hello professor. It has been a long time since we last saw each other. We have so much to talk about.” **
 * “Yes indeed. First tell me what happened with our deal.” **

It took me time to understand what the professor had just said. I first thought that he was joking, but remembering his serious look I quickly brought that theory to a rest. It was impossible. What the professor was saying was completely insane, yet I found myself believing him. Something inside me was telling me that he was telling me the truth. The professor never lied in an instance like this. I thought that he might me meaning this in a metaphorical way, but then I remembered the pictures, the visual proof that he was right. I found myself believing in what other people would call bullshit, although I was cautious to draw any conclusions. He left me a good moment of pause to take in what he had just said. After he had made sure that I was back from my thoughts, he continued. “Don’t you understand? This is what I have been working on all these years. All those weird labs in class. All those unrelated topics that I had brought up in class. They were all there for a reason. I have been working on creating a device that can read the signals that are sent to us through space. And I’m afraid that I won’t have enough time to finish this device up. And so I’m passing the knowledge to you.” “Wait, you want me to work on this as well? I don’t even know what this whole thing is about. I have no knowledge in engineering. Why me?” “Don’t you get it? All those extra assignments that I have been giving you, they have been preparing you for this!” He looked at me with a scary glare. He was laughing a bit while he was saying it. “He is mad,” I thought for myself. And I had reason to. Here was an old man, claiming that he was trying to find a way to communicate with aliens. But for some reason, I still believed him. I started to recall all those classes, when we had gone thought how to build simple machinery. The analogies that he gave in class to the biology stuff that we went through were always about cars and engines. Everything that the professor was saying fit into his real actions. Somewhere deep I understood that the professor was saying the real truth. Suddenly I understood what I had to say. All my life I had been trying to find something that interested me. Something that wouldn’t be boring to do for the rest of my life. I had not liked my business classes at all. I was sleeping through them, waiting for the one class that actually mattered. My biology class with Professor Burke. I had taken his class all these four years, even though biology didn’t interest me. It had been the other stuff that the professor was teaching. I had liked the diversity of the information that we were given. The professor had teached me everything that I needed to know for all my classes. It was him I went to ask questions, even if it was the material in other classes. He simply knew everything and answered all my questions. I had to help him now. I found myself saying something that would change the course of my whole life. I had understood what my whole life was about now. I had found my true self. I was going to help the professor prove his theories right and prove to the general public that these insane ideas were the truth.



There was something unusual about the way that the professor had asked that question. There was a certain tone in his voice that was expecting something and I was afraid to tell him the truth about things. I was afraid of telling him that it had happened. I hadn’t told anyone ever. It was the reason why I was so isolated and unknown right now. After it happened I lost my job, my friends and my family. They were the cause for it. I wouldn’t let it happen again. I sat silent, thinking about all the possible answers that I could give to him. I could lie and say that I was almost done, or I could tell the truth and say that I hadn’t been thinking about it since it happened. I knew he was eager to hear the first option. He wanted to hear that I had found the solution. I was his only hope. This old man that was sitting next to my bed, smiling had me left as his only hope to find the answer to his life’s work. I couldn’t let him down. “I have been working on it.” I finally said without revealing much more. I didn’t want to upset the old man. “But I haven’t found the answer yet.” I continued, looking him straight in his eyes. He seemed eager to tell me something. There was a moment of silence. The only thing I could hear was the “bip” sign which meant that my heart was beating. I had wanted to talk to this man for ten years, and now I didn’t know what to say. I had failed him. Suddenly, (like he always did), Professor Burke started taking something out. After searching through all his pockets, taking out all kinds of weird stuff like keys, plants, wires and even a white lab rat, he finally found what he was looking for. It was a tiny little metal box. He handed it to me, without any words, with excitement in his eyes. I examined the little box, which was heavy for its tiny surface. I knew that this was something important, but I couldn't imagine what this little thing could do. Knowing the professor I figured that this was something that was very important in making the device, and that he had worked hard and long to create it. “It’s the translator, the heart of our machine” he said proudly. He continued, “I have been working on this thing for the last ten years, and I think that it’s finally done. I think I can read the messages. I think I can actually understand what them mean!” He started laughing a bit. “I have finally made it! I ACTUALLY figured out a way of how to do it!!” Now he was yelling in happiness. “The only missing piece in the puzzle is you part of the job. Now show me what you have done. I’m so close to show the world what’s really out there. I didn't want to upset the professor. The truth was that I was nowhere near to done with the device that he asked me for. I hadn't worked on it since my life had been turned upside down. I didn't know what to say. I was so confused and surprised of the new importance that had been placed on my shoulders. I thought that the professor had forgotten about the whole thing. I didn't think that my past would come right back at me, just like a boomerang. I felt that the right thing to do was to tell him the truth, but my subconscious hindered me and I told the professor that I had been working on it this whole time. I told him that it was almost done and that he could probably finish it of by himself. The professor, who was now looking at the beautiful day outside of the window suddenly turned his head and looked me straight in the eyes. There was something weird about the glare, just as if he knew that I had been slacking with the job all these years. Finally, after a long awkward moment of silence he said, "You realize that you are in this as much as I am? You know the secret and it is your JOB to deliver the message to the people of this country or any other country that might be interested in things like these. You see, I never trusted anyone else enough to share the information with them. You are the only person whom I told. I rely on you boy." I looked away from his eyes that were pointed at me as an eagle watches his pray. I could feel the guilt building up inside me... I had completely given up on life since it happened. Why did this happen here and now. Why couldn't I just be a regular man living a regular life. I couldn't say anything to the professor. I knew that he knew about the lies that I was telling him, but for some reason he played along. Maybe he had already built the device himself. "I am tired" I sad while yawning, giving a gesture for the professor to leave. I had wanted to see this man for a decade, and now when we finally met, I wanted him to be gone faster than the wind. I didn't think he had remembered that last day in college. it was so long ago. I think he understood that I wanted to be alone, because he left without saying any more words. He just nodded on me, smiled, took his hat and left. It was like he had never been there. No evidence of anything. It mad me angry, because I wanted to make sure that I remembered that I had met the professor after all these years. I suddenly felt a surge of tiredness, and I could feel how I slowly was moving into the dark realms of my dreams. I tried to keep my eyes open, but unwillingly, I fell into a deep sleep.

I opened my eyes and noticed that I was alone in a dark room. The walls were covered with some dark smoke, which made it very hard to see the real color of the walls. The smoke was everywhere, it covered everything that was another color than black or blue. It was like someone purposely had taken out all the colors of the room. I was amazed to find myself being able to move both my arms without any constrains. "medicine is amazing these days" I told myself. I had somehow completely recovered, and I noticed that all the medical equipment was removed from the room, and that the bed was the only thing in the room except for the walls and the floor. Suddenly, the professors head appeared as a ghost in the thick smoke. It looked around as if checking if anybody was there, and then started talking. I couldn't really understand what it was saying, because of the shock that I was experiencing. All I could hear was the words "you are the only one that can make it" over and over again, and it seemed like the head wanted me to do something.

I woke up sweating. It was 2 AM and everybody was asleep except for the occasional ambulance that was arriving every now and then. I could hear people screaming, moaning, and begging in pain, which wasn't a very pleasant experience. But what really didn't leave my head was the image of the professor on the wall. This nightmare had to mean something, it couldn't be a coincidence. Everything fit too perfectly for it to be. I could do it. With the help of this dream, I would be able to finish the device! I had to get out of the hospital. I was laying there, thinking of possible ways that I could make the device work. I had forgotten that I had been close before, but that every time there was a tiny bit missing, resulting in a failure. I knew what to do now. The nightmare had given me new confidence, and I was ready to tackle the problem. I was laying like this until the morning, when the nurse came into my room to give me my breakfast. She noticed that I was awake and asked if everything was alright. She was worried that I had some new symptoms. I told her that I was fine as I was finishing my breakfast and handed over the bowl. I could feel the tiredness in my eyes, but tried not to show any notice of it. As she walked out, she gave me a smile which assured me that she was a good nurse, as she took care of me and helped me with everything. She was my angel in the hospital. Without her I would be screwed. The day went by as I was laying in my bed trying to sleep. There was nothing interesting or new going on so I kept my thoughts going. I was 100% sure of how I was going to build the device now. I had everything thought through. Just as I was going to fall asleep, the nurse came in again. She was wearing the same white hospital clothes as she was in the morning, but I noticed that she had make up on this time. It was as if she was trying to grab my attention. She was beautiful and hot, I couldn't argue with that. Her proportions were great and she had a beautiful face. But I only had one girl on my mind. The whole reason why I was here. I would never forget her brown hair, fresh as a morning on the ocean. I would never forget those deep and meaningful blue eyes that had bewitched me with their beauty. there was something magic about them. It was as if the whole world was revolving around just those two eyes. They were the center of the universe. And just as I was dreaming away, the nurse came into my room again. She had a sad face for some reason. "You have a visitor" she told me shortly and left the room, almost crying I thought. And then it struck me. It was her! And then I saw her again. She walked into the room, a little shy but determined about something. The minute she stepped her foot into my room, I could feel that it was her. Something inside me told me that it was. It had to be her, who else. She was wearing a dress, not too short, not too long, perfect for summer time. I could see it move with her legs as she was moving. Man, those legs were perfect to. They were a little tanned and from what I could tell she was running a lot. She had flip-flops on, which revealed her little toes that were colored in a warm red color. Not to bright. As my eyes wandered up her body I couldn't stop thinking how wonderful and perfect and beautiful and cute and attractive she was. She was like a princes from a fairy tale. Simply perfect. Now standing before me, her face looked even more beautiful than it had in the car. Her chin was smooth and man those lips. I couldn't stop looking at them. There was something enchanting and gorgeous about them as the more I looked at them, the better then turned out to be. Every little proportion and angle of her mouth was perfect. It wasn't too big or too small, too red or too pink. It was simply perfect. I slowly raised my eyes and saw that beautiful brown hair, which was tied into a pony tail. It was reflecting the sunlight and it seemed like it was from commercials that you see on TV. I had never thought that beautiful hair like that was possible. I finally got to her eyes, which were looking straight at me. Yes, those beautiful ocean blue eyes were there looking just at ME! Not at anything else. I could almost feel how I was drowning in their deep blue loveliness. It was as if I was looking into the ocean itself. The depths of it was unexplored and unaltered, so I couldn't tell what was in there. Both beautiful and ugly things were hiding in those eyes. I just had to figure out what exactly was in there. We both were sitting there, admiring one another for at least 5 min. In complete silence. I couldn't tell if she liked me, but she was certainly interested in me, as she was just looking at me for 5 min. finally, after waiting out for those five minutes, she said, "Hi my name is Jessica. I was the in the car that hit you. " Her name was Jessica. I had never heard a more beautiful name than Jessica in my entire life. Suddenly, it seemed to be the only viable name for a girl at all. Nothing except Jessica was good enough. Jessica was everything that I cared about. I even forgot about all the events that had been going on for the last couple of days. I didn't care anymore. I couldn't feel the pain anymore. I suddenly got in very nice shape. I finally answered and told here that my name was John and that I remembered the crash. There was an awkward silence while we both thought of something to talk about. My brain was frozen, I couldn't think of anything. Thankfully, she continued, "I am really sorry for what happened to you. You just slammed on your brakes right in front of me and I couldn't do anything. Believe me, I feel really bad for you." I was careful not revealing what the true reason of the crash was, and answered, "I don't blame you Jessica. It was my own fault. As you said I slammed on my breaks too hard. I don't remember what made me do it. In fact, I don't really remember a lot." I lied. I remembered every single little detail of the crash, and before and after. I would never the moment when I first met this beautiful girl. She looked relieved to hear my words, as if she had been carrying a burden of some sort for all of this time. She felt guilt, which was a good sign I thought. There was nothing more important for me than knowing that this girl cared about me just a little tiny bit. It was all that I needed to be happy. Both relieved, we started talking about all kinds of stuff. I found out that she didn't live to far away from me. In fact it was a 15 min drive. She worked as a secretary for a company that was well known, and she was 28. We were talking about stuff we liked like food, colors, and the conversation went on smoothly. IT was like we had known each other for years. We had very matching personalities. We both worked at an office, we both liked sushi and we spent most of our nights home, watching TV or doing nothing. It was like we were having a little mini-date in the hospital. After we had talked I knew everything about this girl. And I had never liked anyone more than I did Jessica in my life. I finally understood what all those love songs on the radio were about. I could now feel the artists passion as my own. I was in great love. There was something new about this feeling. I had never felt it before. It was like my heart was going to fall out of my chest. Every time I saw Jessica's eyes it made my breath go away for a couple of seconds. Every time I saw her lips I had an urge to kiss them and every time I saw her body, lust took over my senses. The fact that I wasn't certain if she felt the same thing for me was killing me. I would rather die than see her with someone else. Every time I thought about it I got goose bumps. After talking for an hour, the nurse came back in and said that I needed some sleep. She had red eyes, just as if she had been crying, but I had no idea why. Jessica left me her phone number and told me that we should meet in a better situation sometime, and I would never forget that phone number. I had it engraved in my brain. When she left I could feel the pain in my chest. My heart was beating faster than ever and it wanted to jump out, giving itself to Jessica. I held myself in, and thanked her nicely for coming and visiting me. I told her that it was very nice of her, and that maybe I will visit her next time. She laughed, but I was dead serious. I was going to meet her again. I didn't care under what circumstances. We said bye to each other and she left the room. It was only me and the nurse left. I told her that I wanted sleep, and almost instantly closed my eyes, as I was traveling towards my dreams, I could hear crying in the background but didn't understand where it came from. I didn't pay much attention to it and vanished into the world of dreams. Nothing could get me here. I was out of the hospital in five days. I walked out of the building with a bandage still sitting around my head, but at least my head didn't hurt anymore. Much had happened while I had been in the hospital. nearly everything in my life had changed. I had found the love of my life, I had found the solution to the device. The only thing that was mocking me now was it. I would never forger it. Hating it was beyond my control. I took a cab back home as my car was still being repaired from the damage that the crash had caused. I had informed my work about the accident, so I had been excused for these couple of days. The only problem was that I was working in a business where I made my own money. I didn't have the work pay me monthly. I couldn't forget my clients. I still had to make money, even thought all these things were going on in my life. It was the reason why I was stuck at this low job. If it didn't happen, I would be much better of. I got home by the end of the day. It was already getting dark when I stepped out of the back of a yellow cab, with a bandage on my head and the same clothes that I had been in a week ago. But I knew nobody in the apartment complex so nobody had been there to wait for my return. Just as always I took the stairs to the forth floor, took a right and on the fourth door on the right was my apartment. I checked my pockets for the keys and opened the door. Everything inside was as it always had been. Clothes were laying all over the place and nobody had cleaned in forever. On the right wall was my bed with all kinds of stuff on it. There was a strange smell coming from the kitchen sink, and I realized that that was the remainders of my breakfast rotting. After putting my bag next to the bed, I went over to check what the stench was really coming from. As my suspicions became truth, I saw that there was a piece of a rotten sandwich just sitting there at the bottom of the sink. I must have thrown it there as I was heading out of work, as I was as usually late. There were flies flying all over the place and as I shrunk my nose and swore for myself I threw it out the window, onto a passing car. It soundly said “splash” as it landed on the cars roof, and got carried away into places unknown for me. I washed the remainder of everything and finally had a moment to relax. The job still thought that I was sick, so I was staying home tomorrow. I went over to the other side of the room, and sat down on the bed in complete silence. The only noise in the room was the notice from the washing machine in the kitchen and the sound from passing by cars on the street. Occasional sirens could be heard, as the cops were always looking for criminals in this naborhood. After 30 min of sitting there in complete silence I stretched my hand out and grabbed the remote, which was on the floor right below me. As I was doing that my head started hurting again, but I didn’t want to take notice as it had been hurting much more in the past few days. I turned the black “box” TV that I had across the room. I had found it sitting on the street as someone wanted to throw it out. The screen wasn’t big, but I could still watch the basic free channels that were streamed into my house. After looking through every channel, I finally stopped on a channel that showed old episodes of // The Office. // I didn’t think that it was funny, but I still watched it because I didn’t have anything else to do. I thought about my own life, and how the office that I was working on was different from that office. Everything seemed so fake for me. I woke up in front of the TV. It was early in the morning, about 4 AM. I tried to close my eyes again, and go back into the world of my dreams, but failed as I wasn’t tired at all. Something was bothering, something that I had forgotten and was now slowly coming back into my head. I tried to remember what it was, but all that I could feel was the headache that was always with me, wherever I went or whatever I did. It was piercing my head as an hour pierces the skin of fresh flesh. It didn’t want to get out and was only hurting when I tried to take it out. I opened my eyes and looked at the TV. Everything that was on at this time in the morning was TV shop, and a guy was trying to sell some ridiculous stuff that nobody would ever buy. I could feel the guy. The job of a TV salesmen was the lowest job that you could get in the sphere of sales. Everyone that didn’t have a grad or some background experience started of there. I had started there to after it happened. Now at least I had my job in the office, and I was happy for that. I again went through all the channels on my TV, but this time I didn’t even have a program to watch. I suddenly felt the urge to eat something, so I got up, looking for something to eat. I went over to the other side of the room, in hope of finding something that would have lasted through my hospital time. The feeling that I was missing out on something still plagued me as I was taking my slow and steady steps through the pain. I opened the fridge, looked and closed it again. Nothing was in there. It was completely empty. I went over to the right to find myself a snack and grabbed a single Oreo that was just sitting and waiting for me on the counter. I put it in the mouth, and felt the sensation that continued as my hunger was satisfied. It was like giving food to a hungry crocodile; the beast fell asleep. I couldn’t find any other food, so went over back to the bed and sat down. Thoughts about the passed week were coming back to me, and as I was reflecting over the things that had happened, I remembered the thing that was terrorizing my mind right now. I had completely forgotten about the device!

I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead. And on the side of my head. I had been working on this thing for the last couple of hours, and was nowhere near done. It was a week since my graduation, and all the celebration with friend and family was finally done. I hadn’t had a free moment for the last week because of all the parties and boring stuff that was going on. I didn’t really like them because it wasn’t really my thing. I had more important stuff to do, like fulfilling the professors wish, which he had told me on the morning day of my graduation. He had given me a very important assignment, more important than any other assignment that I had ever had ever in any classes in school.
 * The professor had convinced me that it the pictures were real, and that it was in face some kind of messages from outer space. He had already developed a plan on how to create the thing that would transmit the signal, as he had studied the signals for many years. He had found a job at the university only because he could do that. He had some interest in what he was teaching, but his main thing was to watch these signals and trying to transmit them into some kind of message. He had told me that it was like a radio, but the waves that the signals were transmitted in were different. Something that didn't occur on the earth. It was simply to complex for us to understand. **
 * He had told me that he had already built the basis of the machine, and that all that was remaining was the translator, that would translate the waves into a variety of different languages and a device, that would collect all these waves and transfer them into readable signals. He had also told me that he wanted me to make the device, as he was to old and crazy to figure it out on his own. He had given me the basic knowledge of engineering in his class, in forms of extra assignments and extra work. **
 * So now I was sitting at home, thinking about the different ways that I could build this thing. I had no idea what the waves were, neither did I know what the device was supposed to look like. I was going to need some kind of funding to get all the parts that I needed, so I knew that I would have to go to some kind of work pretty soon. This was going to be a long project. **

I turned off the TV and quickly got off the bed. I could see the exact shape, every detail, every little corner of the device in front of me. Somehow, when I had been in the hospital, I had had this breakthrough thought, that gave me exact instructions in how to make the device. It was like it was floating in the air above me. I knew that it would work. I also knew that I had all the parts, because I had bought plenty while I was successful and had a lot of money. I dressed in clothes that I would mind being dirty and went out the door, closing it loudly and turning the key. I had to get down there fast, as I was very impatient of seeing if it would work or not. I hadn't worked on this thing for years, and now finally I thought that I was able to successfully finish it. I could call the professor, and we could finally see what the signals meant! I couldn't wait, and instead of taking the elevator down, I quickly ran down the stairs into the basement, skipping three steps in between. It was almost like charismas day during childhood, I couldn't wait to see what Santa had brought me this Christmas. I got down into the damp, humid basement, and immediately I could see rats running away as I opened the door and lets some light in. I turned on the light and went to my little storage cabin, which was at the end of the long rows of them. People had everything form TV's to air conditioners down here, so even my weird engineering stuff, wasn't enough to surprise anyone. I got to my little cabin and opened the lock, which had been hanging there for years. It was like traveling back in time. I was remembering all those times when I had been working on the thing. I had to jiggle it a little bit, because the oldness had made it go jammed, but after 2 minutes I was finally ready to open the cabin. I looked inside and saw that everything was exactly as I had left it, years ago. All the different parts were put in different boxes, and here and there there were parts who were either totally burned or twisted into strange positions. I had bought everything that I had thought would be useful, and now I was finally capable of using it all. I could still see the construction clearly before me, as I took all the pieces under my arms and started walking back towards my apartment. When I got back up, I immediately started looking for the parts that I needed for the receiver that I was going to build. I knew that they were there, and I could almost feel a force coming from them, telling me that they were there. I was in a trance like feeling, I couldn't think about anything but the receiver. It was now or never that I would build it. After looking for half an hour at the different parts that I had, I started building the thing. It wasn't easy to fit everything in perfectly, but the mental image which acted as an instruction manual now, guided me through all the steps to building the thing. It was like the concussion gave me powers that I usually didn't have. I put a small piece together with another piece, and piece by piece, you could slowly see my image become real. I knew it would work. It just HAD to work. I was to certain at that point. I didn't eat or drink while I was doing the work, and it turned out to be longer than I thought. I had brought myself a glass of water to hydrate myself, but I couldn't take my sight of the construction. My life's work was soon to be completed, and together with the professors work, we would be able to read what the aliens had told us. It was a miracle! It was going to work! I could feel my pulse and heartbeat going up. Everything was blurry but the construction, which I was already finishing. It was ten hours later that I had finished. I was completely dehydrated, and famished, so all I could do was to make a small notice in hurray. Everything went black.

I woke up later in the day. I had no idea what had happened. An intense pain was going though my head, as if someone had put a sword around it. I got up, and saw a glass of water in front of me. I drank it and felt the sensation of being hydrated again. It was all a blurry dream. Everything that had happened. All I could see now was a strange thing sitting before me. I had created the receiver. I had no idea of how it worked. All I knew was that it actually worked, and that this would soon lead me and the professor to understand the messages. I had done it!. I couldn't believe that I had done it! I ordered myself something to eat, as I made my way towards the bed. Even though I had passed out on the floor, I could still feel the tiredness in my eyes, my body and everything else. It was like I had been to the gym and worked out for a couple of hours. I had absolutely no energy left. The food arrived thirty minutes later. Orange chicken as I had ordered, and I ate in quietness. I didn't want to turn on the TV, as I wanted to enjoy my moment of pure victory. I had finally finished the task. I had to call the professor and tell him. I finished the food and took up my phone to dial professor Burke. He answered as usual with his exited voice, and I told him everything that had happened the day before. He immediately arranged a meeting, and I told him to come to my house, so he could observe my creation, my precious receiver. He agreed that we would meet in the closest hour, and I took a nap. As he had told, he arrived exactly in an hour from the moment that he had answered the phone. He opened the door, as I hadn't closed it and saw me laying on the bed, half awake, half asleep. I had put a blanket over my creation, so that he wouldn't se it without me. I just had to show him personally. This was a creation of my lfe, and I could't just let the fame slip by me. He woke me up with a few loud caughs, and I jumped up as a rocked, as I had not expected the sudden noise. As I settled, the professor smiled at me with his scary smile. "I didn't notice that you had come in." I started. "You kind of startled me right there, just sneaking up on me like that. I must have fallen asleep from the exhaustion." There was a period of silence while the professor was gathering his thoughts. He was old after all, and sometimes I forgot that he was. He looked so young and energetic for his 80 years.It was almost like time had stopped for him. Everything that mattered for him was to finish the translation thing. He just had to know what those signals ment. "Let me see it!" he suddenly said. "Let me see the last piece in our creation, the last puzzle piece in the puzzle. Let us make contact!" He raised his arms up, as he was talking to the sky. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, as if he was seeing something there. Something that he couldn't take his eyes of. I didn’t want to notice it, but there was something crazy going on about the professor. Without words, I stood up from the bed and started walking over to the structure in the back that was covered with a whit blanket. It was pretty small, so it wasn't very noticable. I didn't think that the professor had seen it. I could see how his face tensioned as I was approaching the white thing. This was the work of his life, and he was mabye putting the last piece together. If everythign went as I thought, we would go over there right now and test everything out. Somehow I knew that my device would work well with the professors parts. I just knew it would. I slowly started taking the cover of the thing. Below the white blankets was a fine steel structure, which almost looked like a parabola, but it had a slightly different shape. It looked like a mix of a parabola and something from Sci-fi movies. It was a perfect piece of machinery. I looked over at the professor and noticed that something was glimsing next to his right eye. "He is crying" I thought for myself, but didn't say anything. I understood how much this meant to him. If this thing worked, he would be able to read signals that he had been waiting years to read. "Here it is." I saw to break the silence. I knew that I had to take the initiative as the professor was in a state where he didn't think very straight. "Say something. You are all quiet" I said in hope of getting some kind of response. The fact that he didn't say something was getting very creepy. "it… it is beautiful!" he finnaly announced. "It is perfect, the shapes, the engeneering, the idea… I have never seen anything like this in my years of life. This is truly remarkable." He was now as close as he could to the device. He was looking at every little detail, to see how they fit together into this one big puzzle that I had created. "How did you get the idea?" He asked. "I thought you had problems coming up with the design." "That's what I thought" I answered. "But something happened after the crash. I started seing images of how this thing would look. It was like I was having an instruction book in front of me. It told me every step in the process of builing. I can’t explain what it was. It was like a hallucination, but it ended up real. I just can't explain it." "Hallucnations, huh? I have never head anything like that ever in my life before. You must have a built in helper!" He said and laughed. I thought that he didn't believe me, but kept my mouth shut as I didn't want to explain the whole thing again. I was just happy that I had finished it, and the means to it didn't really matter. The project of my life was done, I had nothing else to work on. It was time to see if the proffesors guesses were true. It was time to see what all those messages were about, and why they sent them to that specific college. There had to be something special about it. We decided to go to the college the following day. It wasn't too far away from the house, and the professor would pick me up, as well as the little device. I had told him that I didn't have any car, and he had gladly said that he would pick me up. He was so impatient of seing the machine working. I went to bed right after the professor had left. Without much trying, I fell into a deep, nice sleep. ***  It was a snowy day in the middle of December. I had as usually gone to work, and it didn't seem like anything unusual. As always, I woke up, brushed my teeth, got dressed, shaved and went of the house. I was going to eat on the way, as I was already running a little late to a meeting that was scheduled a month ago. They had something important to say, so they had invited everyone to the meeting. Something was going to happen. I got into my car and started the car. I drove out on the road, and followed the same path that I had been following for a couple of years now. I knew there was going to be a Panera Bread up ahead, so I didn't bring any coffe with me. As I bought myself a coffe and a dounut, I notcied that a black cat crossed the road as I was walking over. I didn't pay much attention to it, as I wasn't superspicions, but it should have occurred to me that it was odd. I got to work ten minutes later. I was right on time, so I ran to the conference room, that was located in the back yard of the little company. I could see people from all over the place, slowly going over there, so I assumed that everyone had been inited. I was really curious what this whole thing was about. This company had been run by my family for years. Right now it was in my dads posession, and he was doing a pretty good job of holding it together. He wasn't afraid to fire people, even close friends. He was a strict leader and everything he said got done pretty quickly. Nobody wanted to be there when his wrath came out, as someone almost always got fired. I wasn’t afraid for my management position though. He was my dad after all, and he could't fire his own kid. It was a grave mistake to do so, as I acted as if I was invulnerable, being late to work, not caring about stuff, buying parts for the device with company money. All of this must have accumilated up, as I was walking towards that conference room. I had no idea that It was there. I opened the door to the large conference area, which consisted of multiple chairs lined up, facing a whiteboard and a projector that showed different pictures from the company grounds and rooms. Everyone was talking, and I noticed that absolutely everyone was here, even the people that were supposed to clean up. Nothing was giving out what was about to happen, and everyone seemed to be doing their own thing. I took a seat in the middle of the room, next to a couple of my underemployees. I liked them, especially my secretary which was hot. I knew she had a boyfriend, but I could't stop hitting on her whenever I could. I was her boss after all. And she responded to them to. She didn't reject or accept me, but she giggled, which lead me to think that she somewhat liked me. My other employees were good friends, and they were only laughing at the little romance that was going on between me and her. They knew that It wouldn't become much more than words. It was bound to be a disaster. The meeting started as usual with out company song. I had always remembered the song; I had heard It since I was a kid. I had heard conversations about all kinds of different affairs, as my father had always been in the businees. He was just like me. He started off under his father (my grandfather) and ended up as president of the company. I hoped to do the same thing, as my parents didn't have any other children working at the company. When the music stopped playing, I saw my dad standing up in the frond row and going up to grab the mic. He stood there and waited, getting his thoughts together, as people were silencing each other. He was getting ready to relieve the secret to why we were here. When everything went quiet, he slowly continued. "I have assembled you here today, to tell you about cuts. Yes, the company is undergoing serious economic trouble and we will have to cut people, which we think aren’t doing their best. This is going to be totally professional, and to demonstrate that I am going to kick my own son out of the company." I could feel cold sweat spreading across my forehead. Had I just heard what I think I heard? Was my own father, kicking me out of a family business that had been passed on for years? Yes, I had been pretty liberal about my work, but I was still his son. We were family, something sacret that could't be broken by stupid stuff like this. He probably was misstaking me for someone else. He couldn't possibly denounce me like this in front of so many people. It just wasn't possible. It became really silent when he finished his speech. He was seriously going to kick me out, because of all those small things that I did all the time. I couldn’t help it. It was just who I was. I was starting to hate him. I hated my own dad. When I came home, he said that it was the necesarry thing to do and that it was a family decision. I never saw them again. ***